Birthday

I was hoping that my next post was going to be all about our new home. But sometimes things do not work out the way we plan. Instead, it is my youngest daughter's 4th birthday. We had one celebration with all of her friends before we left Colorado, about a month ago. It was fabulous to see how many people's lives we had become part of in such a short amount of time. We are celebrating again with family and friends, but not Daddy. He will be there in spirit, in wishing, in hoping that this year for her is wonderful and not spend too long far from him. Or maybe that is my wishing, for him, for her, for her sister, for me.

It sucks being separated. I thought it sucked on his deployment and at that time, it was just me and him and a baby (our oldest) growing inside of me. There were other times the military took him away as the girls grew, but never more than a month. A month isn't too long when you think about it. But it the midst of it, a month, a day, a week, it seems forever.

We are staying with my mom (Nana) and NetNet and Lala. I feel lucky and loved to be able to stay with them as the search continues for our home. The girls are well-loved here, well-taken care of. They have started school, begun to make friends, and seen cousins and aunts and uncles and grandmas and grandpas that we normally don't get to see. We have found our rhythm here. But a very important person of their lives is missing from their every day. Phone calls, video chats, and snail mail is wonderful tools to keep connected, but it isn't the same.

I miss him. You don't even have to ask. It is a constant, an ache. But it is also an opportunity, to talk, but not just talk. Words have a higher purpose when distance separates you from your love. Words are what connect you. They have a power that isn't always present when you are in the same room, same home, same city.

But now, this moment, I will tuck the missing him away. Our family will celebrate youngest's birthday with joy. Acknowledging the space, but letting joy fill in the empty space. For today, I will make sure she knows how much we all love her (and just fyi- we have video chatted three times with him today already) and how special she is.

Beginning

     Beginnings.  They happen all around us, every day, every moment.  Today my husband arrived in a new city, a new place we hope to call home.  He is the 'Guns' in this equation.
     For the last year and a few months, he has been attending school for Gun Smithing and graduated with honors.  Yesterday, he began the drive with all our household goods.  Well, almost all.  I will follow with our two children when housing has been secured.  We felt the transition between the old and the new would be easier on them if we moved directly from one home to the next.
     He will be renting a room from a kind family while he begins his new career and finds our home.  I am appreciative of modern day communication like video calling, text messaging, and phone calls to keep connected.  Not to mention regular mail where we can send letters, artwork and packages during this transition.  There is nothing more exciting then opening your mailbox and pulling out a letter sent by a loved one!
     I am the 'Yoga' in this equation.  I was introduced to yoga in November of 2014 by Brittany who owns Container Collective Yoga (connect with Container Collective here: http://www.cc360denver.com/).  I was fortunate enough to be the only regular attendee for many of the morning classes during November and December and often received private instruction.  For me, not only was the physical activity helping with aches and pains in my body and providing much needed exercise, but it was also a balm for my mind and soul.  The feeling to share it and introduce my friends was strong.  I brought everyone I could to class, my cousin, my Colorado bestie and even my husband who became a regular before he left!
     In April, I participated in Container Collective Yoga's Teaching Basics program followed by the Continued In Studio Practice Teaching Training.  In June 2015, Brittany gave me the opportunity to teach two classes a week at her studio.  At first I felt overwhelmed and honored to have this chance, but as time went on, the overwhelmed feeling dissipated.
     With my other part away, I knew that I would no longer be able to teach my classes.  Wednesday, September 2nd marked the last time I led a class at Container Collective Yoga.  I was filled with sadness at the close of the class which was also accompanied with gratitude and joy for all the times I had spent there in the same capacity. 
     I am grateful to  have been able to attend classes and grow my own practice.  I will continue my practice at home as well as attend as many classes as I can as I wait for the time when I get to rejoin with my husband.

My doodle for the day.